I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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