You can't motorboat a personality
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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