I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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