Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
