so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
