Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
