So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
