If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
