Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
