the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
