marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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