Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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