It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
