I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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