we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.