my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
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Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.