Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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