I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
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I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.