I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
