Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
