You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
