He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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