I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
