i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
