A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
