OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
