two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
