I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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