So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize