she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
