Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize