i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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