Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Randomize
