Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
