Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
