You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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