This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
