There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
smell my finger.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
