i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
