ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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