Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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