the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just high enough for therapy.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
