my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
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He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
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On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.