the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
what food is Colorado known for?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?