ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.

  Fav 17 1138 2186

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her

  Fav 5 1053 3938

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (757): View more from Virginia

  So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof

  Fav 4 4183 1139

  share tweet
  

• (646): View more from New York

  vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic

  Fav 41 4596 1044

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.

  Fav 7 2405 2079

  share tweet
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?

  Fav 4 1054 1325

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.

  Fav 11 1440 1397

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.

  Fav 3 1362 945

  share tweet
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.

  Fav 4 1346 585

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend

  Fav 1 619 453

  share tweet
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?

  Fav 7 492 1127

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (703): View more from Virginia

  I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment

  Fav 0 434 826

  share tweet
  

• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.

  Fav 1 568 368

  share tweet
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.

  Fav 2 85 12

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (281): View more from Texas

  This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?

  Fav 2 10 42

  share tweet
  

Randomize