handjob tips. give me some.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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