Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
someone owes me an orgasm
you didnt know i had herpes?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess