my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
