a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
