Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
ugly people sure do ruin things
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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