THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How external is "for external use only"?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
