smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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