Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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