well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
