for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
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