I wish I could teleport
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
