obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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