Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I look better un-naked...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
