i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
