I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
