he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think my moral compass just broke
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