i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.