Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing

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  (310): thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing http://tfl.nu/kma4
  Replies (3) Good night (5613) Bad night (1638)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i would rim the shit out of meg ryan

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  (630): i would rim the shit out of meg ryan http://tfl.nu/j227
  Replies (23) Good night (1024) Bad night (2381)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.

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  (425): God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis. http://tfl.nu/n22o
  Replies (21) Good night (547) Bad night (2175)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"

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  (905): I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by" http://tfl.nu/6dm5
  Replies (12) Good night (1113) Bad night (2522)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off

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  (302): Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off http://tfl.nu/cpmq
  Replies (7) Good night (2361) Bad night (1858)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.

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  (636): I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk. http://tfl.nu/1zna
  Replies (4) Good night (1359) Bad night (2540)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.

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  (713): He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off. http://tfl.nu/azk9
  Replies (8) Good night (752) Bad night (2255)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.

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  (574): If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time. http://tfl.nu/3esg
  Replies (3) Good night (2089) Bad night (970)
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  (315): View more from New York

  We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.

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  (315): We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked. http://tfl.nu/mwis
  Replies (4) Good night (1975) Bad night (469)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom

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  (815): I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom http://tfl.nu/3qo4
  Replies (2) Good night (867) Bad night (552)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.

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  (518): I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen. http://tfl.nu/2oin
  Replies (6) Good night (856) Bad night (349)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap

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  (+44): I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap http://tfl.nu/nfma
  Replies (2) Good night (607) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit

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  (403): Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit http://tfl.nu/zv0h
  Replies (6) Good night (332) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  make it buy you a drink first

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  (302): my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor (412): make it buy you a drink first http://tfl.nu/jxuy
  Replies (1) Good night (795) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?

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  (603): Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club? http://tfl.nu/0f4q
  Replies (5) Good night (471) Bad night (368)

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