She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
