When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.