ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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