it wasn't lemon gatorade
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
