What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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