So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
