Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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