Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked like the before picture.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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